The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.”
~Neale Donald Walsch
My use of the word “Couple” is broad in its representation of a relationship. It holds within it intimate partners, those identifying as monogamously committed, married, part of a polyamorous constellation, and those dating. It holds non-conventional intimate partners with a focus on lesbian-identified, transgender or in transitioning process, non-binary, or queer-identified, and other non-conventional couples. “Couple” also includes adult siblings, parent and adult child, and other family member pairs.
I approach couples work using a developmental model that acknowledges important stages of long-term relationships, particularly the often tumultuous transitions from being “merged” in blissful love bonding to the disillusionment of that perfect fit, to the unmerging and acceptance and appreciation of differences. We tease out and understand the cycles of your conflict. You work to develop self-compassion and, in turn, compassion for each other through deep listening and vulnerable sharing. You turn inward individually to identify family of origin patterns affecting your cycles of conflict. Using the attachment repair work of the Internal Family Systems model, I invite one person in the couple, as needed, to get to know their inner protector parts and wounded exiled parts while the other witnesses the work. This deeper individual work together also greatly increases safety, access to vulnerability, and trust. The goals being to clarify the problem(s), define the cycles of conflict, understand the related wounds and protective patterns of relating that each person is bringing into the relationship, develop compassion for those protective, wounded parts, speak for them rather than from them, and finally to connect with each other more fully from your whole hearts and your clear, compassionate, connected Selves.
You deserve to be seen, to be heard, and to be yourself anywhere you find yourself.
I work with intimate partners who:
Identify as LGB or heterosexual and gender non-conforming, or otherwise non-conforming in relationship.
Are in a long-term, committed, monogamous relationship.
Are seeking therapy as a deepening spiritual practice focused on intimacy and vulnerability, appreciating differences, and processing cycles of conflict.
Have a non-conventional relationship structure and are bravely and creatively navigating issues of insecurity, jealousy, and effective ways of maintaining self-worth, safety and security.
Are rebuilding broken trust and a lost safety and security through empathy, compassionate listening and communication.
Are negotiating different levels of intimacy need and sexual desire with increasing vulnerability and empathy.
Are processing fear, shame, and anger underlying repeating power struggles leading to deeper acceptance and respect.
Breaking cycles of reactive communication patterns by naming them, aligning together against them, and reclaiming mutual love and appreciation.
Are navigating chronic or life-threatening illness and finding compassionate strategies to accept, and grieve the loss of health and shared experiences.
I am excited and honored to join you as you explore mindful self-discovery, transformation, deeper love and connection in relationship, spiritual awareness, and whole-hearted wellness. Psychotherapy with a trusted, competent guide provides the ground and compass for increased acceptance of what is, self-compassion, and intentional change.
I see you, I hear you, and celebrate who you are. I am a therapist who knows and leans into the borderlands of life. If it seems we could do some meaningful work together, schedule a free consultation with my secure contact form.
We can talk briefly to get more acquainted. I’ll ask you about what’s going on, what you hope to accomplish, and what’s in your way. You can ask me questions. From there, we can schedule an initial session.